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Ted Bundy find's bra's useful. [16 Dec 2005|01:40am]
Ok, so life's a bit dull recently. No one to torture or fuck over. I need to get it together, I'm saposed to be fucking the world over one person at a time....whew get a grip here buddy.

Well I'm off to watch a few of those porno vids I made with my most recent girl. She's still being fucked to this day. But don't worry folks we feed her a very special protein diet so she wont go hungery. It's amazing how willing a girl is to suck your dick when it's her only form of nutrients.
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Some chick I met at the mall. [23 Sep 2005|03:41pm]
So I'm strolling through the mall on my way to express to pick out a new suit. I meet this chick who thought she was hot stuff. She's throwing her tits in my face and talking "sexy" to me. So I decided to humor her and pretend I wasn't at all interested. Then she was confused. So I tell her that her tits are probly fake and she's not the most attractive girl I've seen and that she's really not worth my time. Well this seemed to drive her to the point where she had to make me reconsider...I don't know what it is with people like that. Why does she have to make sure she always wins? She had to be the best. She had to get me to want her. That was her flaw.

Well eventually I end up taking this chick back to my place. Somewhere I mention that I love when a girl is handcuffed to a bed [which is true, oh so true]. So I get her to handcuff herself to the bed and then I cuffed her legs and other arm. Then I said I love when I gag a girl. So she lets me put this gag on her. Then I said I needed to go get something fromt he other room. I left and didn't come back.

So the next day I call up a few of my buddies and we all go at it on this chick. Then I decided that wasn't good enough. We set it up so that every min. of the day there's at least one person fucking her, it never stops. Never ends. Maybe she'll be dramatized and stop being such a fucking whore. Or maybe I'll have to poor pure lye into her naughty parts....hmmm.
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Sarin [13 Oct 2004|11:54pm]
Sarin was annoying
He got on everyones nerves
No they are all dead

the end.
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that asshole keeps waking up the neighbors [27 Sep 2004|01:33am]
[ mood | pissed off ]

Ok so I met this guy at the bowling alley the other day right. He looks at me funny which pissed me the fuck off. So I politely ask if he wants to play a friendly game. I suck at bowlling by the way. So after we're done playing I other to go out for a beer at the bar. So this dumbass walked to the bowling alley an all. So we take my car. But I just went to my house instead and I bullshitted a way to get him into the house. So I offer him a drink and he's all like ok. So I sneak arround behind him and clock the bastard with a baseball bat. I knocked him out cold. So now I got the motherfucker in my basement all tied up and shit, but I ran out of duct tape and I don't have anythin else to gag him with. He keeps screaming inthe middle of the night wakign up my neighbors. I just told them I'm watching some scary movies and they're dumb shits so they believe me. But I really need to get arround to buying some duct tape.

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scammy scammy! [18 Sep 2004|04:38pm]
YES! I'm such a Genious! i've concocted the most brilliant scam EVER! there's this stupid faggot who was dumb enough to tell me where he hides his money at his house (what dumbass, people these days). And personally I hate this guy, ALOT! I want to skin him alive, cover his body with salt, alcohol, and Gasoline. Let him suffer a bit like that, then rip his hair out! Next Cover him in Honey and Bread crums and chain him up out back with the birds, fireants, and flys! Then I'll let him sit there a while and SUFFER! untill I decide to light the bastard on FIRE! That's how much I hate this guy. But I've decifered the most genious scam to trick him out of $500.00!!! But I'm not telling cause it's a secret.
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Damn good lovin'! [17 Sep 2004|12:29am]
[ mood | horny ]

Wooooo we! Today I fucked the hell out of this girl I met over livejournal. I don't know her real name, she insisted I called her kittenofwoe. She gives a mighty fine blow job my friend! oh yes. I like to call her the spermpire, kinda like a vampire. She's one kinky bitch! After we had sex she brought out her golden retriever Buddy. They went at it for a while. She's pretty damn crazy my friend! But yes, she is a wild child and advise everyone to hit it at least once....oh wait everyone already has! HA!

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I killed a cat and it was fun! [16 Sep 2004|04:13pm]
Well today I killed my neighbors cat. I made some napalm then I tied the cat up with this rope I have. I got some needle and thread and stitched his move closed, that was a pain in the ass. So he's hanging from a rope and all right. I put the napalm all over his body and then lit him on fire. He was trying to scream and wiggling all about trying to get out of the rope but he couldn't really do either. I recorded the whole thing too. Well eventually he died and the fire was still burning.

So I waited until the fire went out and then I put him in a box, gift wrapped the box, then gave it back to my neighbor Molly. Molly's about 7 years old. I just left the box on the porch in the middle of the night with a note made from magazine scraps that said "I found your cat molly." I wish I could've seen the expression on her face, but she doesn't even know I'm the guy who took the cat in the first place. She thinks I'm just her best friends older brother. Even my sister, Michelle, doesn't know I killed the cat.

So today Molly comes over and asks me if I can find the bad man who killed he cat. then she started crying. So I tell her everything will be alright and that I'll find him (which I will of course). So I tell her to run along and play with michelle.

I love it! no one suspects it's me at all.
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